Down the Rabbit Hole

As much as I love traveling, reading about traveling, writing about traveling, and as much as I have traveled pre-children and even post-children, I have not planned many trips. In fact none of my post-children trips have been planned by me. By planned, I mean that I search for the place, the way to get there, the lodging, the activities; I research, weigh possibilities, compare, and try to find the best place for three very different people.

My children and I do have our yearly spring trip to my mom’s desert in California and our yearly June Rhubarb Fest trip to my dad’s place in Colorado. There’s no planning to that—we know the place, the lodging, the activities (you’d be surprised how much festing you can do of the rhubarb). Our big safari last year was completely planned for us. Our various trips to Wisconsin were planned by friends. We just booked a room and tagged along, freeloading on their hard planning. Even our trip to Europe required no planning—we visited friends in Germany and France so no lodging plan necessary; the friends planned activities; my best friend planned how we got there.

Image from a trip to California that I did not plan

Image from a trip to South
Africa that I did not plan

Image from a trip to France that
I did not plan

Image from a trip to Germany
that I did not plan

Image from a trip to Wisconsin Dells
that I did not plan

Image from a trip to Utah that I did not plan

But I just planned a little ski trip to Wisconsin. I mean “just” as in I recently finally made a decision. Not “just” like it was a simple snap of the fingers. Oh no, far from simple. In fact, I fell in the rabbit hole…deep in the rabbit hole…and I was down there for days.

You would think with the Internet, planning would just about do itself. I mean that’s how it is when I shop on Amazon. I take a peek at something and IT knows what I want. IT knows and shows me so many things I want. IT puts them in my basket and gives me the One Click option. And next time I go back, IT remembers me and reminds me of how much I liked those things and flourishes ITS hand to display more of those lovely things.

In fact, I recently heard on NPR that Amazon will soon start shipping anything in your Wish List, anything you put in your basket and then took out, or even anything your mouse hovered over for a even just a moment. They will automatically, secretly, slyly ship it to a warehouse near your house. Next time you go to Amazon, IT will tell you that all you have to do to get that thing you thought about for a moment is to click. It could even arrive the same day. So creepy. I imagine all these packages full of stuff stuff stuff ominously slipping down the roads of America, converging in on homes, hanging around the corner, in the bushes, peeking into our windows, stalking, leaning against a street lamp maybe filing nails or having a smoke, winking at each other—just waiting and ready to get in our houses.

Planning a trip using the Internet presents equally abundant choices like Amazon. But they don’t seem to know me there. (I am partially very happy about that now that my block is filled with creepy Amazon packages waiting to get in.) I started clicking and down, down, down I fell into the rabbit hole. I haven't given much thought to that phrase since reading Alice in Wonderland and watching Matrix. But the Internet can be just that—endless dark tunnels, one leading to another and often leading back to the same tunnel. And you’re down underground so you can’t see clearly; you can’t lift up and get perspective on the land all around you. You just keep clicking and shuffling along in the dark, hoping to see light or at least a fucking hotel you can afford. 

What I’m up against:

·      $1000 budget

·      Single parent

·      No other family or friends available to go with us

·      I don’t want to drive more than 3 hours

·      Three people who are at very different skiing levels and all have different hopes for this trip:

   .    My10-year-old son who wants extreme snowboarding. I laugh smugly to myself because he’s only snowboarded a handful of times on Mt. Trashmore. Mt. Trashmore is a hill that was built over a huge mound of trash. It takes about one minute to walk up. People sled down in plastic baby pools and banana boxes. I laugh smugly thinking anything in Wisconsin will be “extreme” compared to Mt. Trashmore.

Mound of dirty snow in the parking lot of Mt. Trashmore

      And who does he think he is that after boarding only a few times he’d be doing rails and jumps at a terrain park? Come on. I skied every year of my life from age 5 to 20 in Colorado, Wyoming, Montana, Utah…you know real mountains. Not trash mounds. All that and I never learned how to do jumps!

But then I remember how he and I tried paddle boarding one summer. It took me every session for 8 weeks to get standing up on that paddleboard. He stepped on and was up and moving along the water the very first time. And he surfed. Like actually rode the waves of Lake Michigan. He could walk from the back of the board to the front—without tipping it! And then jump off the end like it was a diving board that was embedded in a cement poolside—like that paddleboard was as stable and solid as the ground we walk on. I am not bragging here; I am not being the proud parent. I was pissed. That little shit just does stuff, no fear, and it works. I was a slippery, floundering mess. So yes I do need to take his request seriously. Criteria number one: a place we can rent a decent board and that has some sort of boarding terrain with jumps and rails that will satisfy my son but not scare his mother to death.

2.    My 7-year-old daughter who has never skied or snowboarded and just barely tolerates sledding at Mt. Trashmore. If snow touches that inevitable unprotected-by-glove-or-hat sliver of skin on her wrist or neck, she stomps off and starts walking toward home. She has agreed to try skiing or boarding if there’s a pool or water park waiting for her at the end of the day. Her other requirement is that the hotel cannot have an elevator. Unless it’s glass. (She’s “caustrophobic”—yes she leaves out the l.)

3.    A mother who cannot really figure out how this will work. It’s been about 25 years since I’ve skied. While my son can snowboard, he’s never been on a chairlift. I at least have to ride with him the first couple times. Then I’m sure he’ll be fine riding alone or with a stranger—with me and his sister behind him. But what will I do with his sister when I get him used to the chairlift? I need:

o   Triple chair lifts

o   Magic carpet (those conveyor belt that you just stand on to get up the hill) or tow rope

o   Ski lessons and/or daycare options

o   Nice lodge with restaurant choices, fireplace lounge, room service, spa, pool

o   Under $1000

o   Something inclusive so I don’t have to figure out where to go to dinner, spa, activities other than skiing

So pop, down the rabbit hole I go to find this perfect place for our weekend ski trip. 

Days later I come out with these options and the thought that I spent more time researching this than the time we will actually be there.

	Chestnut Mountain: Galena IL	Granite Peak WI	Grand Geneva in Lake Geneva WI	Devil’s Head WI	Olympus Hotel; Christmas Mountain; Wisconsin Dells
Chair lifts	2 quads; 4 triples; no conveyors $52 adult; $40 kids	1 quad; 1 six; 2 conveyors; not sure about triple	3 lifts & 2 conveyors $47 adult/$38 kids	many lifts; 1 conveyor broken lift in 2009 $52 adult/$42 kids	lift tickets free with Mt. Olympus package 3 lifts; 2 tow ropes; no conveyors
lodging	icky	Could stay in Best Western for $90/night; Grand Lodge looks good but sold out 2/15	Could stay in Timber Ridge for $250/night—includes water park passes	icky	Mammoth tacky place but rooms have water wheel bunk beds that kids want
Ski/board lessons	yes	yes	yes	yes	Yes $69 for an hour lesson but includes lift ticket and rentals
Restaurants	Only 1 at lodge but near Galena	Many choices in town	good	Not much choice	In the Dells but not in hotel
Pool	yes	yes	Big time	no	Big time
Spa	no	Yes in town	On campus	no	no
other activities	no	Yes but not at lodge or ski area	Yes, including daycare ($10/hour), indoor water park, ice skating, climbing wall, basketball	Daycare up to age 8 $20 for ½ day Reggae Sunsplash party	Tubing at ski area Indoor water and theme parks
Price	?? but probably OK—have to call	No good packages available but probably OK	$1217.38 includes water park, lift tickets, taxes & fees, 3 nights, 50% off kid rentals	3 night package (w/ski lessons for kids; no rental for me): $791	$680 includes water park, theme park, lift tickets, taxes & fees, 3 nights
Fireplace lounge	no	At the ski area; maybe in lodging	Yes—looks so nice	no	Fire pit outside at ski area
Room service	no	yes	yes	no	no
How far to drive?	3 hours	4 hours	1.5 hours	3 hours	3.5 hours
Skiing/ boarding	Only a few easy runs; boarding jumps & rails Rental: $32/day	Most options	18 runs terrain park	Rental $28 adult/$24 kids	Small but terrain park with lots of rails and jumps and even a big inflated landing pad for jumpers Rental: $31/day

No need to read all the details. I didn’t even fill the chart out completely—I got overwhelmed with how many ways you can slice this pie. Until—duh—I realized that the Internet—the infamous, all knowing rabbit hole Internet—could be my ticket out. The very thing that was overwhelming me with too much information and stalking and creeping me out, if used properly, could organize all this information for me and get me on my way.

In desperation I give into the Internet’s power and just type in my question: What is the best skiing in Wisconsin for my family??? And the Internet knows what to do. It leads me to this website that makes the comparison chart for me: Findthebest.com. It’s amazing. It’s my chart above on super steroids. This is master pie slicing with a razor sharp edge that makes my pie-slicing look like I was tearing through the pie with a stick. Just click and see a plethora of information that you choose to see all in a neat row, such as lift ticket prices, snow condition, lodging, services, summit and base elevations, uphill capacity of people per hour, trail assessments, reviews, and on and on. Or just hotel price. Or click and see everything compared in a chart. It took me out of the rabbit hole at last and up to a clear view of the terrain all around me.

In the end, I wanted to go to Grand Geneva in Lake Geneva but it was twice as much as its runner up in comparable amenities—Mt. Olympus hotel/Christmas Mountain in Wisconsin Dells. So that is where we went. 

In my next post about mindfulness, I will debunk this entire post by exploring the notion that it doesn’t actually matter where you go. Does that mean that my trip down the rabbit hole to find the perfect place was a waste of time? Yes in that there is no perfect place. No in that the trip down the rabbit hole was a trip nonetheless. It was kind of cool down there. Especially when I came up and basked in the panoramic view.