Dirty Cash

I've been fiscally challenged most of my life. Which is surprising to me because I am organized, detail oriented (an editor by profession), and pretty obsessed with puzzles. I would imagine these are cornerstone qualities to good budgeting, yes? Let me clarify. I can make a budget like nobody's business. I can Excel the hell out of my finances. I once even made a visual budget in which a river represented the money coming in and out every month. Pools branched off from the river, representing the funds I would pool for various reasons--house, travel, taxes, emergencies. There were even fish at the end of the river, gobbling up all my money. You think I'm joking? Well here it is (I xed out the numbers):

So like I said, I can make a budget. I just can't follow a budget. In that regard, I'm an anarchist.

So how then do I expect to travel? With two kids? Pre-children, I traveled a lot and I sucked at budgeting even worse than I suck at it now. But I found ways, or ways found me--French Exchange Program in high school; generous family gifts/donations toward trips in the form of money, airline miles, and plane tickets; Peace Corps; reinstallation money after Peace Corps; tax refunds; cashing out a 401K; EuroRail pass and mooching off friends in Spain, England, Italy, France; and even leading a group of high school students to Western Samoa for a month of volunteer work. Even now, with children, we have been generously gifted some trips. But that luck will not keep us outfitted in yearly international trips, as is my goal starting in 2014. I need to get that dirty cash by my damn-grown-up-self for once.

So I've been reading some travel blogs and paying close attention to how they budget money. Wandering Earl has quite a few posts about how he left the U.S. a few years ago with $1200 and hasn't stopped traveling yet. He must have had a lot of queries about how that was possible because he listed what he did each year in a nice little timeline, that quite frankly blew my mind. He listed jobs he did such as teaching English, working on cruise ships, and writing. And how much he made and--check this out--how much he saved! He saved money while traveling. Shit, I can't even save money at home. Ok, granted he doesn't have kids . . . but to be honest the kids aren't my financial problem when it comes to travel. It's me. It's the same thing I wrote about last time. Who wants to be the rule-master when traveling? Who wants to say no to buying stuff? It's foreign stuff! We can't get it at home my god! 

But I jest. It's not the little souvenirs that break the bank. In fact, we are good at appreciating free souvenirs--rocks, hotel paper, sugar packets (don't you love the little paper tubes in Europe?), newspapers, shells, palm tree bark, wine corks, Metro tickets, chocolate wrappers, tattoos (the tattoo wasn't free, but only $25 in Samoa), menus, maps . . .

My dilemma is about how to save money to go on trips--to buy the plane tickets and hotel rooms. And then how to make wise money choices when we are there. I fully accept that I will never be Wandering Earl, but I think I can do better the Spend-It-All-Sally. Here's an example. A couple weeks ago, we went on a weekend trip about 2 hours away to a resort in Lake Geneva--The Abbey. A spa for adults, indoor pool (some nights you can watch a movie in the pool), room service, an arcade, board game hall, restaurants, ice skating, outdoor fire pits with s'mores, room service, and oh, did I mention room service? 

It seemed like a no-brainer trip, budget-wise. There was a special on rooms--$129 a night; we met another family at the resort with the plan to take turns watching the kids, thus saving on sitters we would normally have at home; I thriftily opted to go for 2 nights instead of 3; no airfare since it was a short drive from home; and I just got a tax refund (though the following day I got my property tax bill. Ha! Why do they even bother--just keep the money and don't make me fill out papers!).

So how the hell did I end up spending almost $1000? Wandering Earl--don't look! When I got home (when it was too late; no returns on massages and hotel rooms), I tallied things up and faced reality. 

• Two trips to the spa. The massage was worth it. The mani/pedi was not. It was a normal ol' mani/pedi that I would have paid $40 for at home but instead paid $140. But one consolation was that at home, I would also pay for a sitter during that mani/pedi. On our family getaway, I had the other parents to rely on.

• Three room services. All totally worth it. Not that the food was that great but the joy and bliss of placing a phone call and having food brought to us and dirty plates taken away--worth it big time. The one adjustment I would make here is to bring my own booze. A room service bottle of wine is a stupid investment.
• Snacks in the gift shop. Not a huge investment and I did get some good Wisconsin cheese, but next time I bring snacks to keep the kids from begging to go to the vending machines and gift shop.
• Hotel fees. So while they say $129 a night, it was actually more like $150 with taxes and fees. 
• $40, $60, $80 in quarters at the arcade? I don't mind paying for experiences and this was fun for the kids. Plus they "won" all their "souvenirs" so no need to buy any.

What I have learned over the years, and was reminded of on this little $1K weekend getaway, is that budgeting is like dieting--they don't work for me. What does work is tracking. To help me make good food and money choices, I have to track. It's a painful, tedious thing to do--writing down what I eat, how much I exercise, what I spend, what I earn--assigning numbers and percentages and looking for patterns. But it all leads to the motherlode of change. Awareness. 

If I make a spreadsheet of my spending, I see the reality. I don't beat myself up. I decide what was worth it and what was not. Then next time, I skip the things that were not worth it. Just like eating--am I going to eat a 600 calorie cupcake with that whippy frosting that leaves a film on my tongue? No. Am I going to eat a 600 calorie cupcake with buttercream frosting from a bakery I go to only once a year? Hell yeah! The more aware I am of cost, value, and worth, the better choices I make. And I've also learned recently that you don't have to be perfect. You don't have track every single thing, every single day. For money, once a month will open your eyes. 

I will never be Wandering Earl, but next time I go to The Abbey, I will arrive with my nails done and my trunk full of booze and snacks.